Sweetie pie, it’s hard to believe that the Jolly Ole Elf is expected jest a mere few days from now. Whilst I am scribing this missive to yew I’m trying to literally “wrap things up,” with wrapping paper, and getting things under the tree for the various personae who are on Santa’s Good List this year. That, of course, includes all the good boys and girls in and outta the Actors Colony that make our lives setch a wonderous thing in our little corner of the universe.
As is Cobina’s custom at this festive time o’ year, we are gonna put out a list of the things we hope said boys and girls as well as some o’ those who are well-known to various and sundry. So, here’s what Cobina has come up with this year:
Mayor Nancy Rossi – A book o’ Bartlett’s Quotations, something we find very useful around this office. Herronner likes to pepper her speeches with bromides and bon mot, but many times falls short. A nice quotation or quip from Bartlett’s will fill the bill nicely. She will also find a game of “Clue.” It seems when she’s asked about things in City Hall, she, many times, answers she wasn’t aware. This should sharpen her intuitive skills.
Chairman of the Council Ron Quagliani – The good chairman (No, Cobina does not use the word “chair”) at one time got a whip and chair to keep the council at bay. With this group, he might need something to boost up their presence as we’ve seemed to go from one extreme to t’other. Soooo, a year’s supply of No Doze is under his tree for dispensing as needed. And he will find also a permission to tell the MARB exactly what he thinks when they have their final interrogation with the city over the next few months. Don’t hold back.
Members of the City Council – A running list of the people in their districts, their names, etc. This is to remind those who sometimes put party over constituents that it’s the people they represent, not the administration. There is, even in city government, a separation of powers.
GOP Candidate Barry Lee Cohen – Barry’s gonna git a new chess set. As titular head of the GOP for the next little while, he’s gonna need a game of strategy to figger out all the characters who make up the GOP Town Committee – a difficult bunch effen there ever was one, considering they haven’t won anything in three decades.
Democratic Town Committee Chairman (and City Treasurer) Mike Last – For Mike, cuz a lotta what he does has to do with youth football in our berg, Santa’s gonna give him some “frequent flyer miles” and a subscription to those dreary magazines found on planes. He’s been down to Disney so much over the last few years, he’s got a standing dinner invite with Mickey.
Republican Town Committee Chairman David Riccio – A bottle o’ aspirin and the whip and chair that Quagliani no longer needs. With the group you’ve got, jest keepin’ the two factions at bay will be a full-time job. Effen yew can get those people straightened out, there is a special place for you somewhere.
City Finance Director Frank Cieplinski – This poor guy is gonna need a shield and suit of armor for the slings and arrows he’s had to take, and will be taking over the next few months. With the scandals going on, I’m afraid the person who’ll be in the hot seat is gonna be the city’s CFO.
Superintendent of Schools Neil Cavallaro – A set o’ building blocks. Now that the high school is almost complete – some 12-plus years after it was proposed – he might need somethin’ to do with his time. And Cobina has to give him props for his take on the pandemic. Whilst other supers were running around like Chicken Little, Neil had a common sense solution for things. Kudos.
The Board of Ed – A dose of common sense as dispensed by the super. Bored of Ed throughout the country have kind o’ gone off the deep end. Let’s hope that don’t happen here. Readin’, Writin’, and ‘Rithmetic are still the things that hafta be taught. Keep it in mind.
Patrick Morrissey – Pat’s gonna git a new picture album with his growing son in it, and growing family. He’s been on this list for more than two decades, and it won’t stop anytime soon.
Retired businessman and former chairman of the Charter Revision Commish Ed Granfield – Ed’s gonna find a year of fine retirement and the ability to tell all and sundry to “buzz off” when they want something. He’s earned the right.
Newly minted Assemblywoman Trenee McGee – A book on economics by Thomas Sowell, and a plaque for her office wall that reads “Money doesn’t solve everything’ for when any new tax hike or new tax come up. Sometimes legislators, particularly Demmies, need to remember that. Also, a running tally of the people leaving the state updated each day.
Mayoral Executive Assistant Louis Esposito – A book of poses. Every time we see a pic of Lou next to the mayor, he looks like a Secret Service agent without the shades. It looks a bit outta place.
The Haven Group – This group will finally have an updated drawing under their respective trees of the Haven project and what it’s gonna look like in its present iteration. Nobody seems to know, and after a few buildings were taken down and rubble neatly stacked, what in blazes has gone on down there? Maybe in the next year we’ll find out, but the famous quote about “Christmas of ‘22” being the target date seems a bit far-fetched.
Historical Society Prexy Jon Purmont – A collection of Centennial souvenirs for the Historical Society It’s been quite a year, and only really touched the surface. Maybe Jon will write the definitive political history of our little berg, it’ll be the greatest things since Gibbon, and about as racy.
City Building Committee head Ken Carney – A list of new projects to take care of this year, and the hours to get them done. Also, a new Lego set to while away the hours when he’s not working.
City Planning Department – It’s been a year since the Enterprise Zone was announced and accepted by the state in the West River area, the planning boys and girls will find some ideas for the area and maybe even a plan or two for what is gonna happen down there. Like most things in our town, things are announced, and then quietly set aside.
Police Chief Joe Perno – A Dick Tracey decoder ring, and two-way wrist radio…Six, two and even, over and out. Only those of a certain vintage will remember that.
Voice Columnist Eleanore Turkington – A direct line to all the council people so she can git quicker answers on complaints that are sent to her from readers. Sometimes getting to the politicos is most of the battle.
Historian’s Corner Columnist Dan Shine – A new camera for his various shots of sunrises and sunsets, and various people he sees during his daily walks by the beach.
Voice Ad Director Alan Olenick – A gift card to his favorite haberdasher. Now that he has a more svelte look, he’s gonna need some new duds.
New Board of Ed PR guy Michael O’Brien – A sorting system for his computer. Now that he’s ensconced in his position, we’re sure he’s getting more calls from teachers and principals than he can keep up with.
City PR guy Michael Walsh – A warm coat for his forays into hockey rinks with the youngster, and a new computer system for City Hall cuz the current one keeps going down.
All our readers – The best for the holiday season and prosperity in the New Year.