Here we are, again, sweets. It’s the last isshew of the year, and when next we correspond it’ll be the turning of the New Year. Here in the office, we have a set of book cases that hold a few of each of the issues, and we cull out older ones every so often. Each year we start in the January rack and move our way to the December rack. And, each year it seems things go jest a bit faster than they did the year before. We started these colyumes, you and I, way back in the 1970s, and haf continued them, perty much with little interruption all this time.
We’ve seen a lot in those years, more than 50 when you think about it, and have seen politicos come and go, and yet the game always has been the same: politicians who think they can git away with things and don’t cuz there are other politicians who can’t wait to talk about it. Been that way for years, don’tcha know. That’s whot keeps you and I in business, I guess.
Tennyrate, with the end of the year, and the fack that Jolly Ole St. Nick will be traversing the skies in jest a few days, Cobina has come up with her lit’le list of things the local leadership might find in their stockings this Christmas.
Mayor Nancy Rossi – Her stocking hung by the chimney with care will have a mock-up of the Haven Project, courtesy of the Simon Group. She can put it under her tree, next to her Christmas village and think of what might have been. Meanwhile, ex-mayors who thought the project was going to be a boon at a time when malls were closing all over the country will get a recording of Anthony Newley singing, “What Kind of Fool Am I.”
The Mayor’s Guy Friday Louey Esposito – A book of exercises for the facial muscles, particularly those used for smiling. Ole Lou always has the look of doom on his face and needs to lighten up a bit. The daily workout of those muscles might help.
City Finance Director Scott Jackson – A new set of hip boots so he can wade through the financial morass that is our fair city’s signature trait. Goodness knows he’s gonna need something to keep the pecuniary muck off his duds.
Director of Public Works Tom McCarthy – Mr. Mac is gonna git some salve for his ears, since they must be burning with the mention of his name in several venues, including Superior Court, over the last several weeks. The DPW honcho usually has people after him or her all the time, but not like this.
City Clerk Patty Horvath – The clerk is gonna get an all-expense paid trip to Hartford to review the proper way to store and maintain absentee ballots – the longtime bane of elections in this burg. Santa will even throw in a dinner at one of the eateries in the Excel Center, jest so she has something to look forward to after the session.
Corporation Counsel Lee Tiernan – The barrister representing the burg has a reputation for being rather quick with the repartee. He will get a set of the Rumpole of the Bailey book series to see how snark can be both biting — and classy.
Park-Rec Director Mark Paine – Ole Mark will get a list of excuses and reasons to stay outta the political cesspool that is City Hall. He ain’t needed there often, and that’s good for him.
Councilman-at-Large Ron Quagliani – Ron, who wears more hats at the University of New Haven than you can imagine will get a new hat rack – and the hats to go with them. He can change identity every time he needs to act as one type of official or t’other.
Councilwoman Bridget Hoskie – The councilwoman has been the object of some attention over the last little while because of her impassioned – if somewhat off the rails – speeches concerning things she’s concerned about. In her stocking will be a pamphlet on calming techniques she can use to lower the heat a bit.
Rep. Dorinda Borer (D-115) – The rep now has new responsibilities in Hartford as Deputy Speaker and a move and shaker up there. Well, like most of the Demmies, she should get a list of the people leaving the state each month because of the high taxes and out-of-control spending her party endorses. The taxpayer lake is drying up. Maybe she and her cohorts will get the message, but don’t count on it. Politicos don’t get positions because they are independent thinkers.
Rep. Trenee McGee (D-116) – The rep recently won her own full term in office and showed herself to be a complete partisan, though she has shown signs of some independent thinking. In her stocking will be pre-woke dictionary, giving definitions of words that haven’t been adulterated by nonsense. That way she can stop using the jargon and find out the real meaning of words.
Rep. Charles Ferraro (R-117) – With his clout as the senior elected Republican in the city, in his stocking will be a whip and chair so he can tame the folderol in the party apparatus that hasn’t won a real election in more than 30 years. The in-fighting over the ruins that once was a thriving alternative is silly.
All the former GOP town chairmen – In their stockings will be the list of failures whilst they were in charge, and all the things they should’ve said, but didn’t during those years.
Democratic Town Chairman Michael Last – See Ferraro. These next few months are going to be chaotic. The factions are gearing up for a squabble, and it’s gonna be a headache. So, some headache powders will be in your stocking as well.
Republican Town Chairman Dave Riccio – Some energy drinks will be in his stocking as he tries to come up with some attractive candidates for the 2023 municipal elections. He’s gonna hafta work overtime.
Congresswoman Rosa DeLauro Greenberg – Now that the Demmies will be in the minority in the House, something to be thankful for, our purple-haired septuagenarian will need something to do. In her stocking will be a set of knitting needles. She can make scarves for herself and her buddy Nancy P. as they sit on the back benches.
Sens. Richard Blumenthal and Chris Murphy – Santa will have a real tough time with these two. We suggest each get a marionette in their stockings. They can learn how to pull strings the way their strings have been pulled for the last few years; and just like themselves, the puppet will not have an original idea in his head.
Gov. Ned Lamont – Since we’re stuck with him for another four years, maybe he can find in his stocking a book on “principles.” Lord knows he doesn’t have any so far.
Good Guy Patrick Morrissey – Pat will see a new pair of walking shoes in his stocking for those daily walks along the beach, and a new wool hat for these colder days.
City Publicist Mike Walsh – Ole Mike has been trekking around the Northeast recently with son Ryan as the youngster hones his hockey skills. Walsh will find a gas card or two to help those loooooonnnng road trips.
School Publicist Mike O’Brien – We’re sure the schools PR guy is inundated with requests from schools to give them a lit’le exposure, both online and in print. O’Brien will get an answering service contract to keep track of all the requests.
Our Editor Bill Riccio, Jr. – This time o’ year gives the scribe a little down time. In his stocking will be the last pieces he needs to finish his Lionel layout. He’s not had a lotta time lately.
Ad Director Alan Olenick – The adman likes cruise line trips, in his stocking will be a new cruise and some fun after a long year.
To our Readers – May your stockings be filled with whatever you wish this Christmas season, as well as wishes for a happy and prosperous New Year.
With that bit o’ chatter, I’ll close this time till next, mitt luff und kizzez,