Tempus does fugit, sweets, and here we are, gettin’ ready for Turkey Day and the short jog toward the holiday season that’s jest around the corner. As is our custom, we offer the politicos and ruling classes of our fair community our own version of turkeys, commenting on the various reasons they were in the news over the past year.
Mayor Nancy Rossi – Her turkey has a “bon voyage” card attached thereon, representing what might have been in her tenure in the Actors Colony. When one thinks of the years she was a firebrand before getting on the council and as Finance Chairman, one wonders what in blazes happened.
Mayor-elect Dorinda Borer – Dorinda won by a goodly margin, and we don’t think it was all Demmies. Her turkey will be dressed in a “onesie” in hopes she realizes that “unity” plank of her platform was something a lotta people were hoping for. Forgit party, do what’s right for the city.
Republican candidate Barry Cohen – His turkey has a “Take a Breath” plate underneath. It is very obvious his coming close in 2021 was a vote against, rather than for, something. This time the person they were voting against wasn’t on the ballot.
Outgoing City Council – These guys and gals will be getting a turkey with sunglasses and a beverage of choice. All the time they spent in meetings, caucuses and setch, they will be getting their lives back. That’s gotta be a good consolation to those who wanted to git re-elected, and those couldn’t wait to git out the door.
Incoming City Council – Their turkeys will have a banner on toothpicks simply saying, “Be careful of what you wish for.” They’ll find out soon enough.
Treasurer-elect Ron Quagliani – We hear the Ronster is a signer and hates rubber stamps. Now that he’s off the council and into another part o’ city government, his turkey comes with a dozen fountain pens so he can sign things to his heart’s content.
MARB – The Municipal Accountability Review Board will git individual birds with a map of the city attached. Ain’t it about time they learn about the city they run financially? Sometimes methinks effen they were asked where Campbell Avenue was they couldn’t answer.
Democratic Town Committee – The members will git turkeys with the photo of a cavalry charge. Like the cavalry, Dorinda came in to save the day for the party, which doesn’t exactly have a deep bench. Of course, this group will be gone with the new elections next year, maybe they will deepen said bench
Republican Town Committee – They get turkeys with dunce caps. That’s what happens when you endorse a candidate nobody knows just cuz a personal war chest was available, ignoring people everyone knows. This is the rank stupidity that’ll keep the party on the outs for years to come. The elections in 2024 probably won’t make much of a difference.
Local Activist Steven R. Mullins – The write-in candidate and all-round member of everything gets a turkey with a daily calendar. How Mullins is able to keep all the meetings, events and activities in his head is amazing.
The Haven Group – The soon-to-be ex-owners of the Haven property (we hope) get turkeys with stopwatches. It’s amazing how quickly (by comparison) they tore down the homes on the lots when they figgered they could sell the property. Amazing what one can do when one wants to do it, right? Conversely, when one doesn’t want to do it, the city gets nothing for nine years.
New England Brewery Company – NEBCO owners git turkeys with applause machines. The way they played the politicos in this town was a master class in the carrot-and-stick approach. Kudos. It was a marvel to see how you played one and all.
Beach Street residents – Their turkeys will have noise-cancelling headsets. They’ve enjoyed no traffic on the road for a few months now. Once it’s open, that all stops. At least you got one summer without the motorcyclists roaring through town. Hope you enjoyed it.
Police Chief Joseph Perno – The WHPD head gits a turkey with a copy of “The Invisible Man.” It’s a wonder to see him stay outta sight for so long in a town that used to politicize the department when it was convenient.
The Police Commission – Props to the members, who git turkeys with running shoes. The commish played the long game like long-distance runners, getting rid of the retirement package and putting back the pension. It took a couple o’ years, but the work paid off.
The Village Improvement Association and FDWH-Allingtown – Their turkeys will be on the same plate and have plans for a new joint venture for a library/fire station. Both groups have been working together for months, and 2024 might be the year it finally happens. Libraries are still important, and Allingtown has been almost four years without one.
The Sandy Point Association – This group gets turkeys with instructions on how to franchise to other parts of the city. A neighborhood group like the SPA should be in very part of town, doing good things to help improve the surroundings, and not expecting the city to do it all.
The Land Trust of West Haven – The members will each get a turkey, organic of course knowing this crowd, with a dose of “reality.” Sometimes, methinks they forget what things are like in favor of the way they want things to be.
Sens. Blumenthal and Murphy – Their turkeys will be adorned with a blush of cranberries. At least the birds can be embarrassed, these two birds aren’t ever. Some of the stuff they utter in the press are either an indictment of them or the voters who put them into office. Probably both. They are clowns.
Rosa DeLauro Greenberg – The Third District’s contribution to the Geritol brigade that populates the Democratic side of the Hall of Congress gits a turkey doused in purple hair dye…jest like Rosa.
The city’s General Assembly delegation – Their turkeys will have parchment attached saying, “Sometimes doing nothing is the way to go.” Politicos like to think that “doing something” is better than doing nothing. Nope, never was. Besides, “doing something” always seems to cost money.
WHFD (Center District) Historian Bill Heffernan – His turkey will have plans for a full-size version of the antique scale model of the pumper he’s been showing about town. Why stop at a scale model when you can have a big one for events.
The Community Thanksgiving honcho Bill Ewry and staff – Their turkeys will have blank pages attached with no schedules, events or activities unless they want to go. After the hours they put in, they need the rest. But make no mistake, this group of dedicated people have made a great holiday for hundreds due to their hard work.
City PR guy Mike Walsh – City scribe Mike Walsh gits a turkey with a restaurant guide. Since he’s a hockey dad he’s gonna need places to eat for all those weekend junkets.
Board of Ed PR guy Mike O’Brien – O’Brien gets a bird with a sorting system. He is probably trying to keep up with all the principals who want stories about their schools. This’ll help.
Westie Blue’s Mike Madera – The local sportswriter gits a turkey with a fedora so he can look like Graham McNamee. He can look it up.
Local radio personality Coach George DeMaio – His turkey will have a schedule of all high school football games next season…so he can git ready early.
Local guy Patrick Morrissey – Patrick’s been mentioned for turkeys each year. This year he gets one to enjoy with his lovely wife and son.
History columnist Dan Shine – Dan gets a parchment on his turkey with the decree of a National Day of Thanksgiving by Pres. Abraham Lincoln. He will like that.
Consumer Advocate Eleanore Turkington – Her turkey will have a list of all the new members of the City Council, getting her ready to tackle problems that will come her way.
Ad Director Alan Olenick – His turkey will bear many contracts for next year, ensuring another good 12 months.
To our readers – The best for a Happy Thanksgiving with friends and family, and the hope for a joyous holiday season.