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Dear Felicia

November 27, 2024 By whvoice

Here we are, sweets, another Thanksgiving Day to check off. The Mystick Maidens of the Marsh are having their annual Turkey Day festivities in a different place this year, gathering at the head of the Cove River for a traditional dinner. The MMMs are lookin’ for a new leader, as we ain’t been meeting as often as we used, and it’s time to put new blood into the ranks. We’ll talk more about that after the foist of the year, but know that the city’s oldest sorority organization is till alive and kickin’.

Meanwhile, cuz it’s Thanksgiving, that means that Cobina givesout her annual Turkey Awards to the members of the political class who’ve made strides, and stumbles during the last 12 months since last we gave them out…sorta our Oscars and Emmys all rolled into one.

Mayor Dorinda Borer – Her turkey is gonna be one with some sweet rolls on the side. Things have been goin’ perty smoothly over the last little while as she finishes her first year as mayor. Before yew know it, she’ll be campaigning. Tennyrate, her term has – after she got people into place – been better than some we can remember.

City Council Chairman Nick Pascale – Nick is on his second go-round with the council. He had a seat many years ago when he was young and foolish – he ain’t young anymore! He turkey is gonna be a large one with some extra stuffing and riding crop jest in case he needs it to keep the councilors in line. So far, there’s been not much to keep in line, but yew never know…

City Treasurer Ron Quagliani – His turkey is gonna be a bit on the lean side only cuz it represents the schedule the guy has to keep. You hafta be in shape to do what he does, and he signs every check that goes through the Actors Colony. That’s tough on the old wrist and hand. We’ll put a blotter with the turkey so he can keep his digits ink-free.

City Clerk John Lewis – John is no newcomer to the land of City Hall. He has had more than a few go-rounds in our seat of power. His turkey is gonna be one with a list of all the jobs he’s either had or ran for during his tenure. No this ain’t a criticism in case yore wonderin’.

Democratic Town Chairman Mike Last – Mike’s turkey will be a big one and have a valise attached to one drumstick. The guy has been trying to downsize himself outta the chairmanship, but has stayed on when asked. It can’t be easy trying to keep 60 people, and 60 personalities, in line when talking about those involved in politics. But he’s kind o’ level-headed and probably is a good foil for the hotter heads that are seated thereon.

Republican Town Chairman Dave Riccio – Speakin’ of keeping people in line, Dave’s turkey will be a large one, and have a whip and chair attached. Whilst the Republican Town Committee hasn’t been the directors of anything for more decades than one can count, there are still egos thereon who seem to think they have some kind of power – or want it. What a mess!

Chief of Police Joseph Perno — Chief Joe is a newcomer to this list. His turkey will be large and fully stuffed as he has done a perty good job of staying under the radar and still doing a bang-up job under difficult circumstances. Let’s hope he’ll be able to maintain and add to the numbers of the constabulary in the next little while. He’s been working under the strain of a short staff for too long.

Superintendent of Schools Neil Cavallaro – Neil’s turkey will be wrapped in wax paper. Neil has been able to stay outta the public eye perty much for a couple o’ years, just tooling along doing his job. In this berg that is quite an accomplishment.

Rep. Bill Heffernan – The Willster seems to be settlin’ into his new role as rep for the 115th Assembly District, and jest won his first outright term in the last election. His turkey will have a megaphone nearby as we’re told that said rep has quite the oratorial skills.

116th District Rep. Trenee McGee – McGee has made a name for herself as being not in lock step with the party line in certain matters. Her turkey will have a drum next to it, cuz she marches to her own beat, and will go her own way effen she thinks it’s right.

Ray Collins III – Ray III as he’s called didn’t win the 117th District seat this last election, as he was beaten out by early voting, whilst winning on the machine count. The Republican’s turkey will have a “Get ‘em next time” banner on it as well as a directive on how to git GOP voters to get to the polls or poll early cuz that’s the way they’re doing things now. Don’t hafta like it, but hafta work with it.

The MARB – The Municipal Accountability Review Board members will each git a turkey with a rearview mirror. We of our fair city can’t wait until they are outta here and let us take care of our own business. Whilst things have been calmer since the new administration took over, the imperiousness of the membership made for a very difficult time.

The Haven Group – This group of erstwhile developers, who still own the property where the ill-fated shopping center was supposed to go will get turkeys that will be impossible to know whether they are cooked or not. This is cuz we still don’t know what they are up to and what they are planning to do with the bare landscape down there on Elm Street. Effen they keep us in the dark, their turkeys will be a mystery as well.

Neighbors of the Haven property – These homeowners will have turkeys with extra fixings, more sides and a chocolate crème pie for dessert. For years they have had to put up with the silence of the developers and should be rewarded for their patience.

Congresswoman Rosa DeLauro Greenberg – The Grand Dame of the majority party, thankfully in the minority in Washington gets a turkey trimmed in purple grape sauce. It’s only fitting that the purple-haired politico who never had a real job in her life should be mirrored in her bird.

Sens. Richard Blumenthal and Chris Murphy – The Rosencrantz and Gildenstern of the Senate will have their turkeys dressed in a harlequin hat to show jest what silly individuals they are and an embarrassment to our state. Effen this last election cycle didn’t prove that in the eyes of clearer heads, nothing will. Yew jest hafta remember that it’s (D)ifferent for them.

The Village Improvement Association – The city’s board for running the libraries will have each member with a large turkey and a copy of a tome of their choosing on the side. It looks like the plan to put a library into the former Blake Building in Allingtown is moving along. For the first time in four years it looks like an Allingtown library branch will become a reality. Let’s hope by this time next year it will be so.

Former School PR man Mike O’Brien – Mike is leaving his post with the school system and taking on a new job. His turkey will have a “Good Luck” banner and a few extra fixings for the work he’s done with the system over the last four years.

City PR man Mike Walsh – Mike’s family turkey will have a tinted visor for the city’s reporter. He toils long hours under some difficult situations, and gets the stuff done. We appreciate it here in the papyrus.

City good guy Patrick Morrissey – Pat has been mentioned in the turkey column for more than 20 years. His turkey will have some comfortable shoes on the side for his continued daily walks along the shore.

Our columnists, writers, and photographers – Big, beautiful turkeys with all the fixin’s for all of them. They have put in a great year as it winds to a close.

Our Readers – The best for a Happy Thanksgiving and joyful holiday season.

With that bit o’ chatter, I’ll will close this time till next, mitt luff und kizzez,

Filed Under: 112824, Column, Dear Felicia

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