Well, it’s that time o’ year, again, honeybunch! Tho’ we have jest a bit short o’ two weeks before the guy in the red suit comes down the chimney, it is the time that Cobina puts together her annual list o’ gifts she would like to see under the trees of the local yokels, who make up the celebrity class of our lit’le corner of the universe. It ain’t an exhaustive list, that would be too taxin’ on an ole gal like m’self, but it’ll mean somthin’ to the various people and groups that seemed to be in the news a lot during the course of the last 12 months, since last we put this list together.
Mayor Dorinda Borer – Herroner jest finished her foist year in office this week, effen I remember correckly, and got some nice news over the last lit’le while. The Conference Center is gonna have a new restaurant and banquet center after some fixin’ up, and the city will be reimbursed most o’ the funds that were embezzled by former politicos who are now guests of the fed’ral government in a secure facility, and Standard & Poor’s jest upped the credit rating of the city for the second tim e this year. What more could she possibly get from the Jolly Ole Elf? Well, thinkin’ about it, we thought what could possibly be better than a video disc of Busby Berkeley’s Gold Diggers, 1933. A very young Ginger Rogers since, “We’re in the Money.” Somethin’ tells me, Herroner is humming that tune these days.
City Council Chairman Nick Pascale – Like we said at Thanksgiving time, this ain’t Nick’s foist rodeo with the council, and he has a bit of experience dealin’ with the personalities that make up our local legislative body. Sometimes getting the boys and girls to stay in like is a lot like herding cats, ya know? Well the best way is givin’ Nick a large hook, like they used in Vaudeville, to get the kiddies back in line. I’ll bet he is wishin’ for that every once and a while since he took office.
The City Planner’s office – Every city planner likes to do his or her job by “planning” things. Our planner’s office has the more mundane responsibility o’ getting things like permits and the like done, and all that red tape work. We’re thinkin’ they might wanna actually build something. So, we think some All-American Building Blocks from the 1950s would be a good thing to while away the hours, when things git tedious. The boys and girls in the office can construct nice buildings and houses, and decorate them. Helps get some of that creative energy out in the open. Let’s hope Santa thinks the same thing.
City Treasurer Ron Quagliani – Ron, we’re told, likes to go in the Actors Colony every Thursday and peruse each check before he hand-signs them. That gives him an idea of what is being paid and to whom. The poor guy has to have a very tired set of digits when that chore is over, so we think we have the right gift. Ole Ron should get a book of finger exercises to keep those digits in fine shape. And, effen he really needs it, we’ll throw in a refresher course in the Palmer Method of cursive writin’ so he don’t get in any bad habits.
Chief of Police Joe Perno – Chief Joe stands as one o’ the low-key guys who has ever held that office. It might be that things aren’t quite as “interesting” on the WHPD as it once was, but somehow Perno has kep’ himself below the radar – not a bad thing in this berg. So, he must git a bit bored in his office. Santa will send the chief that great stand-by game “Clue” to pass the time when things get “less busy.” He can figger out whether it’s Professor Peacock in the Conservatory using a candlestick to keep his detecting skills sharp…and have a bit of fun as well.
City Clerk John Lewis – It’s gotta be a tedious job doing the clerking for the city Yeah, John’s got a staff, but with the regulatory stuff he’s gotta know and the endless red tape that the office has to dispense, Lewis must get a big fatigued. We think Santa should have a way to shake off that fatigue and restore his energy. Might we suggest some Salsa lessons? What better way to work off the fatigue, and a few calories. It’s a win-win.
Superintendent of Schools Neil Cavallaro – Neil’s got a lot going on, and is workin’ with our own Ken Carney, head of the Building Committee, in many school projecks, not the least o’ which is Washington School. Since Neil likes construction so much, we think he should be able to do his own. A large set of Legos would be a great gift. He can plan and replan and build and rebuild in his office as a way to relax from the tedium that comes from jobs. Sethc has his..
Democratic Town Chairman Michael Last – While the city’s majority party chairman is keeping the 60-member Town Committee in line, and somewhat together over the tenure of his term, politics is not his real passion. Youth football, however, is. Mike is the prexy of the Southern Connecticut Pop Warner League and has been involved in that organization at many levels for decades. Santa knows this cuz he knows who’s been naughty and nice. So, Mike will find under his tree some well deserved trophies from his league’s recently completed national competition on the gridiron and in the cheerleading competition.
Republican Town Chairman David Riccio – Dave’s tenure as chairman of the city’s minority party has definitely been akin to the aforementioned “herding cats.” Every time he thought he had people in line, there would be internal problems. Most recently, he has seen a resignation of some interesting names from the Town Committee. Tryin’ to keep a bunch of personalities with no record of success but a lot o’ opinions ain’t easy. We suggest Santa put the proverbial whip and chair under Dave’s tree, that he can bring to town committee confabs. That might keep the boys and girls focused just a tad. And with the implements, let’s hope he finds some real interested individuals who wanna actually make things better in this town, not just pad their CVs.
City Activist Steven R. Mullins – Effen there is a man who wears many hats in this berg, it’s SRM. Steve is a regular contributor to this papyrus with his short essays and organization news as well as his work with the Masons. We think he should have a place to put all his hats. An old-fashioned coat tree with many hooks will be a great place to perch all the headwear, representin’ all his activities. And it’s practical, he needs somewhere to put his top hat when he’s in full Masonic gear! We will make sure Santa puts it on his list.
City PR Dude Mike Walsh – Walsh has become a mainstay at the Actors Colony, and sometimes has more things comin’ through the pipeline than we can keep up with. Santa should be very careful what he puts under his tree, but might we suggest a little something to keep him smiling. We know the perfeck gift, a video disk of the 1940 screwball comedy “His Girl Friday,” with Cary Grant and Rosiland Russell. It’s a hoot, and he needs a hoot once in a while.
The Haven Group – Effen we were Santa we would fill the members of this group’s stockings with the cheapest coal money could buy. They deserve nothing more. However, Santa ain’t the petty type, so he’s try to bring them around. We suggest he send them all a Dale Carnegie course on “How to Win Friends and Influence People.” Effen there was ever a group that needed a lesson in communication it’s this bunch o’ mucky mucks from Magic Midtown.
The Village Improvement Association – The VIA as many people know is the overseeing group that runs the city’s library system. The big project that group is workin’ on is putting an Allingtown Branch into the former Blake Building, which once housed the school offices before they went to the Actors Colony. Santa has to be very picky about what he gives this group, and we hope they find some very detailed plans on how the new library will look once renovations are done to the edifice. It could be a great thing for the Allingtown borough, and be a center of community activity.
The MARB – We are hearin’ that the Municipal Accountability Review Board is lookin’ to exit our fair city and is of the belief that its work is done here – hopefully for good! Well, we can’t think of anything better for them to find under their various trees, than Gordon Jenkins and the Weavers 1951 recording of “So Long, It’s Been Good to Know You!” Of course, it hasn’t been, but “Na-Na Na-Na, Hey, Hey Hey, Goodbye” is a bit on the dour side. It is Christmas, after all.
The city’s General Assembly Delegation – We been pondering this a lot, and think the trio that represents the city in the hallowed halls in Hartford need a way to unwind and have a little fun. We suggest Santa help resurrect a great card game that used to be a real hit at outings and family dinners. So, we think pinochle cards are in order. A few packs o’ them and a review of Hoyle should familiarize the legislators with the rules. It’s a great game to decompress. We suggest it highly.
All our writers, columnist and readers – The hope for a joyful Christmas season, and best wishes for a prosperous and Happy New Year!!
With that bit o’ chatter, I’ll close this time till next, mitt luff und kizzez,
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