With the end of the year – and our two-week shutdown – it’s time for Cobina to isshew her annual gift lift to the politicos, celebs and yokels that make our little corner of the universe soooooo special. It’s hard to believe that we two are marking yet another Christmas together, Felicia. It’s been since 1970 that we’ve shared these weekly missives, comminting on the goings-on of the various leaders.
In fack, to put a perspective on the entire matter, jest think who we’ve seen in the thoid floor of the Actors Colony since we started this colyume. Foist off, Bob Joyce was owner of the West Haven City News, a recast of the ole Town Crier (which some old-timers still call us). Then it was bought by the Milford Citizen, and we moved over to that publication , follying a brief two-year stint with the Towne Voice, that went outta business.
Then we stayed with that papyrus on and off for the next 15 years. There was a two-year hiatus and then this publication came about, and one o’ the colyumes that everyone was clamoring for was our little contribution, and here we’ve been since.
Jest so, we’ve been givin’ out our gift list since the early days, and we’ve had times when locals were upset when they weren’t included. Let’s see what happens this year.
Mayor Nancy Rossi – We think herroner should get a desk plaque, which therein states: If red ink were a cash crop, this city would corner the market. Poor gal has spent much of her foist year just trying to find ways of getting two very far-away ends to meet somewhere. That has meant a lotta acid indigestion and meetings with people who are bigger bean counters than she it. We think it would be an interesting reminder to those who enter her inner sanctum.
Mayoral Assistant Louis Esposito – Since Louey left the General Assembly and became the mayor’s Guy Friday, it seems he’s had to take on a slew of responsibility and wear many hats. Well, those hats needs a place to reside, so we hope that he gits a hat rack, and can change hats depending on the task he has at hand.
City Council Chairman Ron Quagliani – Ole Ron has had quite a year of it himself. Last year we thought he should git a whip and chair to keep control of the disparate groups and factions there seem to be in the city’s ruling party. Well, that seems to have worked, but so have the circumstances surrounding the city’s finances, and people have been in line. Soooo, this year we think the chairman needs Trump’s Art of the Deal, so he can keep all those factions talking and making deals – particularly with budget time rolling around after the holidays.
School Board Chairman Rosemary Russo – Overall, RR has had a quiet year as head of the school bored with no big isshews bringing out the woist in people. We think she should see under her tree the whip and chair that Ronnie got last year. With the apperntment of a new principal coming up and the ripple effeck that could have – and the political infighting that usually accompanies setch decisions, she might need to have one of her own.
Superintendent of Schools Neil Cavallaro – That recent cache of whiteboards we hear he was able to secure via his Building Committee from a local school system, which had to find new homes for them. Such a deal he got, such a deal!!
Building Committee Chairman Ken Carney – Just cuz he likes things to do with buildings, an old Kenner “Girders and Panels” building mega-set to set up on his conference table. He can alter things, building things, knock ‘em down, and start all over again…jest in case he gets bored.
Mayoral candidate and former Mayor Ed O’Brien – Now that the former hizzoner has indicated he wants his old job back, we think he should find an adding machine under his tree. He’s gonna hafta explain to people how he got budgets so wrong so many times. He’s gonna need one to figger it all out.
The Municipal Accountability Review Board – MARB has been toying with the idea of making the city a Tier IV-status city, which means it has total control. We think the members should take a hint from Marley’s Ghost and see that yew can’t get blood from stone. Marley’s speech to Scrooge will be found under their individual trees.
Charter Revision Commish Chairman Ed Granfield – See Rosemary Russo. When the recommendations come out for the charter, he might need what she’s getting just to keep the politicos at bay.
City resident Patrick Morrissey – Patrick, who has been in this one colyume for several years, will find a new set of sneakers for his long constitutionals. Ole Pat can be seen along the Beach Walk several days a week taking a very determined stroll.
Voice Columnist Dan Shine – Dan likes to take his dogs fer walks very early in the morning, and is part o’ that early-day culture that traverses the beach. He also likes to take pictures with his phone. Jest for kicks, let’s give him an old Brownie and see what he can do with it.
Gripevine’s Eleanore Turkington – Eleanore’s made quite a splash with the new administration over how and when it responds to gripes. For her tree, she should git a Hot Line to Louey Esposito’s office – and the City Council office – so she can git quick answers. Somehow or t’other I think the answers will be coming quicker, now that we are in an election year.
The Haven Development Group – The developers of this projeck get a snow globe with a rendering of the plan as the star feature. We’re hoping this is the year that things start happening over there, but we ain’t holding our breath.
The State Dept. of Tranportation — A clue will be found under the tree in that department to determine how in blazes traffic will flow if and when the Haven is built. Under the current configuration, it’s a disaster waiting to happen.
City Resident Pete Maglaris – In a former column of this type, we asked the query “What’s a Maglaris?” when he was campaign manager for former Mayor H. Richard Borer, Jr. It kind o’ made him famous. Well, now he gits a plaque for his bookcase: “This is a Maglaris,” with his countenance in a cameo.
Co-owner Alan Olenick – Olenick, who is the Platonic form of a workaholic (look it up), will get a few hours of downtime each day. He juggles the Chamber of Commerce, this papyrus and a few side jobs during the course of a week, along with family responsibilities. He needs a bit of a break each day.
To all our readers, advertisers and friends – The hope for a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. See you all on Jan. 10, when there will be a couple new surprises.
Mitt luff und kizzez,