Sy Swan
Part II
See part 1 here.
Sy Swan met Virginia Freije at a meeting of The Young People’s Syrian/Lebanese Society of New Haven in 1941. They married in 1943.
Family life in America during the 1950s and 1960s was often like this: Father was the breadwinner, worked long hours, and as a result his presence in the home was often fairly sparse. Meanwhile, mother stayed at home, taking care of the cooking, cleaning, housework and raising the family almost singlehandedly. Such was the case with the Swan family, but it was often raised to the extreme, since Sy worked seven days a week until shortly before his death.
However, his children have some golden memories. Often, Sy would take Virginia and the children in the family’s motorboat for a picnic dinner on Charles Island in Milford. Some evenings, he would meet them on the beach at the end of the day, bringing along a dinner that he had prepared for them to share. And there would be conversation and smiles and laughter to make the dinner complete.
Sy’s son, also named Sy, remembers his father as an avid outdoorsman, who would often take him hunting and fishing. The family’s boat often took father and son out onto Long Island Sound, where they would explore various islands, sometimes staying overnight. One time, the boat struck a submerged rock, damaging the its propeller. As evening fell, they paddled the damaged boat to a nearby island that came complete with a lighthouse—they spent the night in that lighthouse and got acquainted with its two attendants. It was an unforgettable adventure.
Daughter Barbara remembers that after Sy’s death, life became something of a blur, while the family struggled to develop new responsibilities and routines for those he left behind. Virginia took over the running of the restaurant, and son Sy, 13, joined her as soon as school got out each day. Daughter Barbara, 11, took care of Marcia, 4, with the help of Rose Anderson, a wonderful woman who worked in their home, assisting with household chores and taking care of the younger children.
A huge theme was family: Virginia’s younger sister, Phyllis, who had worked alongside Sy since the second year the restaurant was open, lived with them in West Haven during the week (and spent weekends at her family home first in Ansonia and then in Derby) and was an invaluable support for Virginia both at home and in the restaurant, being the main chef once Sy was gone. Without the help and emotional support of a close family–Virginia had 5 siblings–life would have been much more difficult for Virginia. In addition, there was Virginia’s best friend, Marion McQueeney and her family, who were a tremendous support to the Swan family.
And so, Virginia persevered, and she kept the restaurant going, even as she raised her three children with an admirable, quiet strength and saw to it that each of them graduated from college. In 1975, she sold the restaurant and took a less demanding job at City Hall. She died in 1987.
Today, the Swan children, now in their Golden Years, credit their parents for the strict parenting and strong examples that they set; for all three have gone on to good, successful lives, fulfilling their parents’ wishes; and all have carried on the traditions of Sy and Virginia Swan.