Well, sweetie pie, here we are at the end of another calendar year. This isshew is the last of the year. No sense coming out a couple o’ days before Santa makes his trek from the Nawth Pole, advertisers are perty much done, and readers have lots more on their plates. Soooo, we will next conspire with a missive after the foist of the year.
With the weather getting colder – and, boy, is it – we think about snow and stayin’ indoors and finding a cozy nook to hide in at this time o’ year. But, we know that given the hustle and bustle of the season, Cobina ain’t gonna be able to do much cozy-ing in the near future.
Effen you weren’t sure, Herroner was sworn-in for her second term jest this past weekend with the usual pomp and ceremony that we can muster every couple o’ years. Jest like the charter sez, we convene in a public place and get the oaths of office from each and every person elected last month. It was a grand affair as usual, and a good time was had by all.
The headliner, of course, was Herroner, and she noted those things that she hopes to do over the next term. I will leave you to read that elsewhere, we don’t hafta recap it.
Tennyrate, with Christmas jest around the proverbial corner, it is time for us to list the gifts that we think the political class and other notables in our little corner of the universe should find under their Canadian Spruces this go-round.
Mayor Dorinda Borer – Fresh off her inauguration, our chief exec should find a nice blueprint for downtown renewal – one that actually works. We hear-tell a new report has been put together, but to our recollection this is the fourth or fifth one since the 1970s, and nary a one has ever been put into effect. Remember the plan to make Campbell Avenue one way south to north, whilst Savin and Washington would be one-way, north to south? Let’s hope the one she finds under fir will be workable – and doable.
City Clerk John Lewis – The clerk and his staff will see a hot line to a local stationary distributor. With the gubernatorial and congressional midterm, the need for printouts will be off the charts. They’ll need a quick delivery of copy paper on a regular basis – more than usual.
The new City Council members – Knowin’ they are now expected to make regular meetings – especially when the budget-making process begins (usually after the foist of the year) the new members will receive from the Jolly Ole Elf a calendar app for their phones, specifically with the council sked on it. We could go old school and give ‘em all pocket calendars, but they’d not use them. Your time is not your own anymore, kiddies.
Town Chairmen Mike Last (D) and Dave Riccio (R) – Jest to keep it fun, the lads will get a vintage copy of the game “Battleship” to while away the hours. It might be the only thing Riccio wins in the next lit’le while and at least he’s have a fightin’ chance. Meanwhile, Last hasn’t seen too many defeats. It’ll keep him humble.
Minority Councilwoman Meli Garthwaite (spelled it right again!) – Methinks Santa should give her a jumbo stash of crosswords and word search puzzles, and a copy of Angry Birds for her phone. Whilst the majority will determine things in executive session, the poor gal has to have something to do. She’ll be lonesome out there.
Former Treasurer, now Councilman Ron Quagliani – With his background, Santa is gonna give him a glossary of terms and excuses in AI that will decipher all the palaver he’s gonna hear at his new seat, especially as it concerns spending and the budget. He’s seen the money change hands and where it goes, he will be able to cut through the bovine fertilizer PDQ.
The ninth district delegation to the GOP Town Committee – A place to hang their collective hat. Seems getting a place to meet is a problem for the group, which hasn’t had much success drumming up new, interested people. Santa should find them a cozy place to meet monthly.
The West Haven General Assembly Delegation – Reps. Bill Heffernan, Trenee McGee, and MJ Shannon along with Sens. James Maroney and Gary Winfield all need the 1950s recording of Eddie Fisher singing, “I’m Walking Behind You.” Whilst it is a love song, the idea is important. They aren’t there to do their own thing or follow the party line, but have the interests of those people who put them into office…just a reminder.
Perennial candidate Steven R. Mullins – Mullins puts his countenance out there every election cycle, it seems and still has time to be in every possible organization, group and society. Santa will find him a niche in the week where he will do something fun and restful. We suggested to the big guy (Santa that is) Steve gets a straight deck of cards, and a pinochle deck. Maybe canasta or pinochle will give him some down time.
The Gagliardi Family, retired owners of Jimmies – It would be easy to make snarky comments as we have been on opposite sides on matters over the years, but everyone deserves a rest and enjoyment after years of work. Best of luck to them as the family takes a deserved break. We can still hear, “One up, one order!” from years gone by.
The Village Improvement Association – The group that runs the city’s library system will get a large number of cartons of the 1950s toy, Block City, to snap together the Allingtown Library branch that seems to be snagged, yet again. Maybe building a mock-up will let the people of the borough know that aren’t forgotten by 355 Main St.
Superintendent of Schools Neil Cavallaro – Now that the school system has pretty much rebuilt each and every building – or in the process – the super may have some time on his hands, and being a man of education we think Santa should give him something educational. A boxed set of the TV classics “Romper Room” and “Ding Dong School” should do the trick. He can reconnect with his roots.
The Finance Committee – After the holidays are over the city’s Finance panel gits to start the budget making process from scratch. Santa will give them a low-tech way to make the numbers work – an abacus. It might not have all the bells and whistles of modern tech, but it doesn’t lie or fudge. Those are the types of numbers the committee needs to make good decisions.
Sens. Richard Blumenthal and Chris Murphy – The state’s double embarrassment should get hooked up to lie detectors each and every time they go in front of a camera. These two know what they are saying is untrue, but do it anyway. There are a number of people who hang on their every word. Maybe knowing they are professional prevaricators will educate them.
To the reporters and TV crews that cover Messrs. Blumenthal and Murphy – Santa will give them portable Jersey barriers, so they can protect themselves from the sprinting duo looking to get their mugs on the news. It’s said when there is a camera, those two make the spot the most dangerous in DC.
Rosa DeLauro Greenberg – Lucille Ball had her Henna rinse, many a starlet had her blonde dye, and our octogenarian Congresswoman has her concord grape streak. Rosa will get a recording of Vaughn Monroe singing “Deep Purple.”
The Haven Group – The city’s premiere developer, where vegetation now grows where neighborhoods once stood, will get a free class in horticulture to at least cultivate something other than weeds on that massive expanse of green that is bordered by First Avenue, Main and Elm Streets. If we have to have unplanned open space, let’s make it more attractive.
School Facilities Guru Chris Everone – Santa should be very good to Chris as he has made the Fitzgerald Complex one of the jewels in the crown. We suggested to Santa that Chris and crew get some recognition for the way they treat visitors to the facilities. We suggest welcome posters, located all over the rink, pool, stadiums, etc., with the crew and Chris, saying ‘Welcome to West Haven, and WHHS.”
City PR Guy Mike Walsh – The longtime scribe extraordinaire is a bit of a shutterbug – it comes with the territory. Santa will give him a Brownie from 1947 so he can get back to when photos were an art – and a chore.
School PR Guy Rob Forleo – Membership in the Loyal and Protective Order of Scribes. Walsh will explain.
City Good Guy Patrick Morrissey – Santa will not give him a new set of sneakers. He must have a closet full. Instead, St. Nick will give him a new chess set to while away the winter hours.
To all our readers – The best of the Christmas and holiday season, and hopes for a productive and successful New Year.
Mitt luff und kizzez,